Beans on Toast

My daughter 3 and 3/4 was sobbing tonight, so hard, I could barely make out what she was saying. She'd got out of bed and followed me in to the kitchen to tell me. She pulls at my dress, tears and whimpers.

Oh love what's the matter? I stop warming her milk up in her little dog cup to hold her. We sit, wrapped around each other. I'm here, love, I'm here. What's the matter?

Oh Mummy, she sobs, tears streaming, I'm going to miss. ...

- I can't make out what she says next . . .

What are you going to miss love?

Beans on toast

when I die.

Oh Peggy. I hold her, she holds me. She cries. I breath deeper.

Why do we have to die? She asks between sniffs.

I let it and her settle trying to find a truth that I can bear and dare to share.

Well, nothing is forever, that's what makes it magic. Oh there's so much for us to love Peggy... [grasping a little perhaps] Our love will last forever.

But I don't love that mummy, I don't love dying.

I don't want milk tonight mummy I just want cuddles and stories.

Ok Peg.

As cuddles and stories commence -

Can you ask the doctor if we can die together please? Cuddled up in the middle of my bed?

Ok love, I'll ask.