heebie jeebies
mummy? does this give you the the heebie jeebies?
squealed little P this morning mid executing a near perfect split down 3 concrete spiralling stairs with her little 4 year old legs.
whoa!
I’m holding on! - she pronounces proudly - she knows my edges.
She was indeed holding on to the yellow climbing rope banister that spirals to our front door - as much in place for my dear dad as her.
It does give me the heebie jeebies Peggy and [quick turn around!] it’s great you are so brave.
I genuinely love that she meets the world like a playground - and that she pushes at the edges of my fears.
come on love - I overtake her on the stairs -
wait mummy! watch this - is this a fancy trick?! - I turn round to see her as she jumps hands free down the next concrete step.
Oh yikes! - as I try not to visibly flinch - imagining her careering head first down the next 8 steps into the broken and bleeding bundle!
That gives me the heebie jeebies, yes - and I can see how much joy it’s giving you.
Watch this mum! - oh cricky . . .
//
I understand my parents better - as I watch my daughter grow. I try not to let my heebie jeebies become what she holds on to - to give her enough support for her to want to take leaps and risk - to be the author of her own edges - and it pushes at mine.
//
She is poised - ready to launch herself off the last 3 steps into the garden. I watch as she tests her grit. She’s psyched, I’m tempted to shout - watch you don’t fall over your dress, remember to bend your knees . . . I hold my tongue, let go my fear and watch her fly -
Weeeeeeeee! A seemingly perfect landing which she walks away from slowly.
You ok love?
I hurt my feet.
Huh? Did you land with a bit of a wallop?
Yeah. - we take each others hands.
Did you give yourself the heebie jeebies?!
Yes - she’s laughing. We both are.
It was a great jump, P.
Did you see it mummy? Did you really?
Yes love. - and I felt my tummy jump too!